On Proposition 8 & People Who Hate

While having coffee yesterday afternoon, Jon and I started discussing politics. What started as a mini-rant on Jon's part about how much it bothers him that people are so pissed about having to press 1 for English soon detoured over to the subject of gay marriage. It was a harmless yet enthusiastic conversation because we happen to agree on our positions on the matter. Coincidentally enough, I later found out that a similar enthusiastic conversation must have been taking place at that very moment in California.

Yesterday Proposition 8, the gay marriage ban, was overturned by a federal judge who considered the ban unconstitutional. In an article appearing on abc.com one supporter of Proposition 8 was quoted saying, "If we change the definition of marriage, that is going to affect our children. So basically, we're trying to defend the children that will be adopted or raised by a couple who are not actually their mom and dad.". I have one word for this guy... ridiculous.

I consider myself a Christian and a conservative and though it may be counter-intuitive for me to be fully supportive of gay marriage in the US, I am one hundred percent. This country has lost the right to cite religious doctrine as a basis for regulating something that is none of their friggin' business! If you're going to make what a woman does with her body her choice, then you sure as hell better let tax paying citizens choose who they marry. 

You may say that God designed marriage for a man and a woman; and I agree with you. However, marriage in this country has very little to do with God anymore. And as sad as that makes me to say it, it happens to be true. So are people saying that unless two people are married in a religious ceremony, they can't get married? Why not put a ban on atheist marriage? What if you're arguement is the same as the guy's from the ABC article and you believe that two people who can't produce children biologically shouldn't be allowed to get married? OK, then why not a ban on infertile marriage? Since when can a government that separated church and state long ago make these decisions?

And what infuriates me the most are the gay marriage protesters. These self-rightous, judgemental, hypocrits are destroying the reputation of the church. I was raised in a Christian household and I was never taught to hate people who believed something different than I did. I also was never taught to shove my beliefs and principles down people's throats. These zealots can't really believe they are successfully saving the souls of homosexuals, can they? If I were gay and I saw a picket line outside the courthouse with a sign that said, "Burn in Hell, Fags" I can't really say I would rethink all my life's decisions and fall to my knees in repentence on the spot... but that's just me. Whether you believe Jesus was who He said He was or not, the man did not teach us to hate or to judge- bottom line.

With that being said, if gays want to get married, let them! Think about it; here is a group of people spending millions of dollars and countless hours fighting for the right to participate in an institution that is treated so poorly by those who get to experience it. If anything, legalizing gay marriage would revitalize the concept of marriage in this country. If they are granted the right to marry you better believe they are not going to take it for granted and show up in divorce court at the first sign of trouble. 

So, I guess what I'm trying to say to all those opposed to equal civil rights for homosexuals is: back off. You're wasting your energy on something that is really none of your business. If you don't support it, fine, but it's not your job to judge it.

Summer is Kind of a Bitch

After probably six months of the best of intentions to see (500) Days of Summer and never getting around to it, Jon movie-ambushed me the other night after I got home from work. It was close to midnight and I was certain that I wouldn't be able to stay awake for more than 20 minutes, but I was wrong. I somehow managed to keep my eyes open and my attention focused for the entire 90 minutes. I believe the reason for that acute surge of energy was how emotionally invested I got in the story and especially the characters. It was not even a little bit the standard mindless "ro-co" (romantic comedy) that would have probably put me out faster than an Ambien. The characters were so charming and so realistic that, at times, I almost forgot I was watching scripted actors. (500) Days of Summer also got me to do something that no Katherine Heigl/Gerard Butler/Kate Hudson/Matthew McConaughey P.O.S. movie has ever achieved- it got me thinking...


Spoiler alert! It turns out that Zooey Deschanel's character, Summer, is a self-involved narcissistic bi-otch. She spends the better part of a year jerking this guy Tom around who is completely and unapologetically crazy about her.
Side note: who knew that kid from 3rd Rock was so charming?

Anyway, Summer leads Tom on for months and then decides one day that she just doesn't feel like being with him anymore. Then she flashes her big Disney eyes and wants to be his friend. Then after he manages to get over her enough to go back to being a functioning adult, she drags him back in to screw with him some more. And after all is said and done she ends up married to another guy, then out come the innocent eyes and poor Tom is just supposed to be happy for her.

Beware of Disney eyes!

The spooky thing is that a scenario not at all unlike this one happened to Jon some time ago. I won't share details out of respect for his privacy, but suffice it to say, this girl did a number on my baby brother. After the storm had passed and everyone involved was seeing clearly again, Jon was left with one simple truth about girls: the pretty ones think they can do whatever they want and it's OK because they're pretty. No dice, ladies. It's infuriating when a girl believes her appearance grants her empathy-exempt status. Beauty is praised to such an extent that these girls end up brainwashed into thinking their own feelings, impulses, musings, what-have-you are the only things that matter. They end up at the center of their own melodramatic universe. It's sad, it's annoying, but it's true.

You'd be mean to these girls too

So Jon adopted a technique for dealing with said selfish females: he's mean to them. He figures that no one's ever been mean to them a day in their life, being that they're so adorable, so they don't quite know how to react. He says some act like a deer in the headlights, some try in vain to throw it back at him, and some just don't get it at all. Now, I'm not advocating this strategy, but given what Jon went through I understand it and I wouldn't say I'm completely against it. I don't think anyone should be mean simply for the sake of being mean and I don't want to give the impression that my brother hates women. He just has developed a no-bullshit policy for pretty girls who think they can get away with anything. And honestly, I do believe there a more than a few chicks out there that could probably benefit from being taken down a peg or two.

But at least the movie was good.

"We live to dance another day, it's just now we have to dance for one more of us..."

It has been quite an intense week. Last Friday our close group of friends was rocked by the news that one of our own had taken his life. Jason "Old Boy" Kuzniarski had hung himself in his house. Words could not explain the shock, confusion, and utter sadness that collectively settled over the group that night. After each of us received the phone call from somewhere along the chain of friends we all gathered at our favorite bar- the bar where Old Boy had worked- to begin to try to make sense of the situation.

What occurred that evening, in the face of such unspeakable tragedy, was nothing short of inspiring. Both the bar and the sidewalk outside the bar were scattered with the people affected by Old Boy's death. It was clear that the usual atmosphere of laughter and general shenanigans had been replaced by an almost visible cloud of shock and sorrow. The amazing thing, however, was how every single person, through there own sadness, found a way to support every other person in the group. No one tried to find the magic words that would take the pain away, because we knew they didn't exist. No one tried to compete over who was the most sad over Jason's passing, because we knew that didn't matter. We were all simply there for each other in any way we could be. Some people needed to cry, so someone was there to hug them. Some people needed to tell jokes to alleviate the tension, so someone was there to laugh. Some people needed to sit silently by themselves, so we left them alone but stood close by in case they changed their mind. It was natural, it was beautiful, it was devastating.

In the days that followed each person mourned and honored Jason's memory in their own way. After his standing-room-only funeral (if that) the group that was now more family to each other than friends gathered once again at the bar where Jason worked and spent the entire day drinking beer and telling stories about the insane memories we had of Old Boy. Even his parents and sisters showed up to join in the reminiscing and by the end of the night they were our family too. It was exactly the way he would have wanted it.

It seems as though when someone dies the people left behind tell only the best qualities of the one who has passed on. It always seems a little exaggerated too. "She was always smiling." or "he was the greatest guy I've ever known". Nobody wants to admit that she was kind of a bitch sometimes or he was an angry drunk. That is not at all the case with Jason.

Jason was like that song that comes on the radio that instantly makes you perk up and sing at the top of your lungs. It was impossible to be in a bad mood when Old Boy was around. He wouldn't have it. He'd grin as wide as he could, his eyes would sparkle, and he would say just the thing you needed to hear to laugh like crazy and forget whatever the hell you were upset about. Even when he was drinking too much and doing something wildly inappropriate you couldn't help but laugh because only Old Boy could pull that off. The guy simply radiated joy and animation and he made everyone he met feel like they were the most important person in the world. And for the record: I believe I can speak for everyone when I say that we would all say exactly that about him if he was still with us and it was just another Friday night at the Wharf Rat.

One such night about three weeks ago my brother, Jon, was sitting at the Rat among the usual group of friends watching the Oriole game. Jon was giving Kevin a hard time about refusing to give him a piece of cake at a party they had been to earlier in the week. After a few minutes of light-hearted bantering between the two of them Old Boy, overhearing the conversation, disappeared for about ten minutes or so. He returned with a huge slice of cake that he placed in front of Kevin. This cake was not intended for Kevin, but for Kevin to redeem himself by giving it to Jon. No one knows where he got the cake from. He just wanted to put a smile on Jon's face. Jon told me later that it was one of the best night's of his life, sitting at a bar with all his friends, watching the Orioles, and being the only one in the bar eating a giant piece of cake.

Old Boy is not one that will soon be forgotten and I truly pray that he has found the peace that he was seeking. I like to think that he's happy now to see how close all his friends and family have become through this. However, I know we all wish it was under less tragic circumstances.
We'll miss you, buddy.

Jason "Old Boy" Kuzniarski

August 12, 1981 - July 16, 2010

"Long Live the King"

Sit Down, James Cameron

I can never enjoy another movie again. This was the collective reaction of Brandon, Jon, and myself as we walked out of the movie theater at 2:40am on Friday. We had been anticipating the premiere of Inception for weeks and had already prepared ourselves for it to be the best movie ever made- this is no exaggeration. The bar of our expectations had been set impossibly high... or so we thought. As it turned out, it was better.

Inception more closely resembled a roller coaster ride than a movie. I don't think any of us took a breath or blinked for the entire two and a half hours. I could go on for days about the phenomenal performances by the actors (who knew Joseph Gordon Levitt had it in him?) and the twisted visual effects but that's not what stood out to me. Plain and simple: this is what movie making should be. The story was bold and beyond compelling; plus, it was just complicated enough so you felt challenged but at the same time you weren't exhausted trying to keep up. The intensity of the situation was alleviated briefly by exactly the right amount and type of comic relief and gratuitous violence was clearly deemed unnecessary to plot development (what a concept). When the two and a half hours flew by and the story was winding down the final scene evoked a collective gasp from the audience followed by resounding applause.

All those in the business should stop rolling all over your money pile for a second and pay attention. This is what it's about, folks. Stop overpaying coked-out assholes to write dick and fart jokes and take a risk! Give us something we've never seen before; try some actual artistic creativity for a change. Creativity. Look it up. No, put down the script for Saw 8 go get a dictionary and find out why Christopher Nolan is so much better than you.

I'm sorry, but spending 10 years on creating seven foot tall blue cheetahs and tacking on some garbage script with about as much originality as a teenager in a Team Edward tee shirt may make you truck-loads of money but, in my book, it just makes you a cheap cinematic prostitute. 

Now, as for the phenomenon that is Inception; I really can't enjoy another movie again. Jon remarked, as we made our way to the car still in a haze over what we had just witnessed, "If Christopher Nolan had just applied himself to curing cancer or something... I'm a little mad that he didn't."
Well, we may not have a cure for cancer, but at least my faith was renewed in the future of movies. At least as long as Christopher Nolan is involved. Bring on the next Batman movie!