Sweet Emotion

I've been a bad blogger. Good writer. Bad blogger. I have neglected my precious little contribution to online commentary for greener pastures- the coveted world of print publication. That's right folks, I've taken a my first significant crack at the big leagues. For the last four months I have been working on an essay that I submitted yesterday to the holy grail of freelance writing publications (at least for me, anyway); Glamour magazine. Now, don't go getting all excited for me just yet. It's an unsolicited submission so I won't know for a little while if they are, in fact, going to publish it. Won't you all join me in keeping your fingers crossed?

Today I am utterly exhausted. My heart, soul, pain, joy, blood, sweat, and tears are in those 3,000 words and writing, editing, and rewriting that piece have been just about the only things on my mind for the last four months. That, and fantasizing about what it will be like to have my words published in the uber-giant-mega-mag that is the illustrious Glamour. But today it is over; at least my part is over. I have submitted my best work to date and now I wait. Immediately after clicking "send", I felt as though someone had siphoned all the fuel from my tank- I was empty. I just about melted into a puddle of goo on my couch and stared at the TV like a zombie. After an hour or so I chided myself for not rewarding my efforts so I cruised on over to Starbucks and splurged on a double-venti Pumpkin Spice Lite Frappuccino. As yummy as it was, it failed to give me back my mojo. So, I decided to just resign myself to an evening of mindless channel surfing.

I guess when all your energy and emotions go into something that so much of your being is invested in and the stakes are so high, it's a huge let-down when you finally, well, let down. The subject matter of my essay was very personal and emotional for me so it took a little extra out of my mental reserves and left me feeling completely deflated. However, I am extremely satisfied with the work I created and I have committed myself to not take it as a personal testament to my abilities as a writer if I am rejected. (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it)

I am now on a mission to commit myself to my next big submission and do my very best to keep this one off my mind until I hear from the all mighty Powers-That-Be. I will, however, try try try not to neglect my sweet little blog anymore. I still love all of you that read it!