Sweet Emotion

I've been a bad blogger. Good writer. Bad blogger. I have neglected my precious little contribution to online commentary for greener pastures- the coveted world of print publication. That's right folks, I've taken a my first significant crack at the big leagues. For the last four months I have been working on an essay that I submitted yesterday to the holy grail of freelance writing publications (at least for me, anyway); Glamour magazine. Now, don't go getting all excited for me just yet. It's an unsolicited submission so I won't know for a little while if they are, in fact, going to publish it. Won't you all join me in keeping your fingers crossed?

Today I am utterly exhausted. My heart, soul, pain, joy, blood, sweat, and tears are in those 3,000 words and writing, editing, and rewriting that piece have been just about the only things on my mind for the last four months. That, and fantasizing about what it will be like to have my words published in the uber-giant-mega-mag that is the illustrious Glamour. But today it is over; at least my part is over. I have submitted my best work to date and now I wait. Immediately after clicking "send", I felt as though someone had siphoned all the fuel from my tank- I was empty. I just about melted into a puddle of goo on my couch and stared at the TV like a zombie. After an hour or so I chided myself for not rewarding my efforts so I cruised on over to Starbucks and splurged on a double-venti Pumpkin Spice Lite Frappuccino. As yummy as it was, it failed to give me back my mojo. So, I decided to just resign myself to an evening of mindless channel surfing.

I guess when all your energy and emotions go into something that so much of your being is invested in and the stakes are so high, it's a huge let-down when you finally, well, let down. The subject matter of my essay was very personal and emotional for me so it took a little extra out of my mental reserves and left me feeling completely deflated. However, I am extremely satisfied with the work I created and I have committed myself to not take it as a personal testament to my abilities as a writer if I am rejected. (That's my story and I'm stickin' to it)

I am now on a mission to commit myself to my next big submission and do my very best to keep this one off my mind until I hear from the all mighty Powers-That-Be. I will, however, try try try not to neglect my sweet little blog anymore. I still love all of you that read it! 

Coffee Shop Writer

I've always wondered what it's like to be one of those people that parks themselves at a coffee shop table with a laptop and a latte and remains completely engrossed in their work for hours. I notice them while I'm grabbing my afternoon caffeine fix on my hurried way to some other pressing engagement. What fascinates me the most about this group of people is not the nature of their work or whether or not they're just cruising Facebook and simply attempting to look pretentious with their new Macbook; it's how the hell these folks maintain their attention span and block out the chaos around them.

So I'm attempting what I have always perceived to be impossible- I'm writing in a coffee shop. My usual writing environment consists of me, my laptop, and unconditional silence. I tried listening to music for a period of time when I first started but I soon discovered that I remain much more focused in graveyard-like quiet. Needless to say, I am now completely out of my creative element. I'm currently dedicating all of my God-given effort (what little I actually posses) to keeping my eyes cemented to the computer screen right now because all I want to do is raise my gaze to the scenery around me and people watch. It's a lot harder than it sounds. I so very badly want to listen to the conversation the two thirty-something guys are having from the leather armchairs ten feet from my table, or watch the steady stream of distinctly middle-class white folks in khaki shorts and polo shirts grab their mid afternoon iced lattes. 

I must admit, as the caffeine in my own iced coffee works its magic and as I grow more accustomed to my current surroundings the creative process is slowly returning to me. There is something oddly therapeutic about the sound of the steamer and the aroma of freshly ground coffee beans permeating the buzz of miscellaneous conversations and soft acoustic folk music. It's nice to be out in the world, watching life happen as I attempt to create my own contribution to the universe. The isolation I usually encounter during my long afternoons in my home office is virtually non-existent in this particular backdrop. I'm a part of the shuffle and a silent observer all at the same time. 

It's a little strange that I'm starting to realize that writing in public ultimately produces fewer distractions than writing at home. There's no TV to click on when I get stuck on how to finish a thought, no puppy dancing around my feet in attention-starved desperation, and no wandering thoughts of accumulated laundry or unwashed dishes. Sitting in this coffee shop I am forced to focus on my task at hand. It's a lot more like giving up when you close up the computer and get back in the car than just setting the computer aside and checking to see what's new on the DVR. 

I guess the moral of this little experiment is that I will probably join the ranks of frequent coffee shop writers. I'll be that girl in the corner clicking away on the keys and sipping a latte that makes you wonder what kind of people actually sit in coffee shops with their computers.     

The Bittersweetness of Life Getting in the Way

Geez! I just realized that it's been two and a half weeks since my last post. I'm sorry to my sweet little blog and to the small handful of you who actually take the time to read it (I love you, by the way!). My life has just been getting all sorts of in the way. I feel guilty for neglecting my self-proclaimed life's passion but there's just so much stuff to do and so much recovering from stuff I do! I could go ahead and blame it on the end-of-summer need to cut loose or whatever, but that's a weak excuse at best. I could also blame my day job at the bar, which is a considerably less weak excuse but still not a good enough reason to be a lazy writer. When I do carve out an hour or two to devote to my laptop I have been spending that time working on a piece that I am submitting for publication in 2 weeks and I'm getting my first taste of deadline anxiety. So keep your fingers crossed that come the new year, I will be a real-life published writer! But for now I am choosing to use all three of the aforementioned reasons for why I have been neglecting my small circle of readers. Many apologies.

The highlight of my recent hiatus had to be a spontaneous mid-week getaway to my friend Gabby's waterfront house in Cambridge. Even though the trip was all of two nights, it was the perfect outlet for some much needed bowing off of steam. Five of us packed up two cars with beer, liquor, food, coffee (of course), and a few overnight essentials... and then more beer... and headed for the Chesapeake. What ensued over the next 36 hours was the perfect combination of intoxication and relaxation with some of my favorite people on this planet.

We played games, floated in the pool, watched my brother play 157 games of ping pong against anyone that wasn't otherwise occupied at the moment, sat around a bonfire, and kayaked into the sunset. Over the course of the two nights we managed to drink a comically large bottle of espresso vodka, an entire bottle of Kahlua (what's a vacation without white russians, anyway?), two bottles of wine, at least three pitchers of bloody marys, and, if I had to estimate, around three cases of beer. After said alcohol was consumed, the group congregated at the end of the pier and we all lay on our backs and watched the stars for what seemed like hours. With the exception of driving home before noon the next morning and having to cross the Bay Bridge with a wicked hangover, the mid-week mini-vacation was perfection. I would also like to mention that Brandon was not able to make it because of his job, and his presence would have been the only thing to make the entire experience complete.

So I suppose it's time to bid farewell to summer and start hitting the laptop hard (some days I would like to take that literally), because I would hate to succomb to Lazy-Writer-Syndrome, or LWS as I will now be calling it.

P.S. I still intend on offering my thoughts on the new season of Weeds, however, I can't decide how I feel about the first two episodes just yet. I will let everyone know once I have formed an opinion.

Missing: Genius

I'll just come right out and say it- I love Elizabeth Gilbert! It may be super trendy to love this woman right now but I don't even care, I just about worship her. For those who are unfamiliar, Liz Gilbert is the author of Eat, Pray, Love- the international super-mega best seller and Julia Roberts is playing her in the movie coming out on Friday.

The reason I'm swooning over her at the moment is that I recently watched a video of a lecture she gave at the 2009 Technology, Entertainment, & Design Conference on creative genius and its place in our society. She discussed how the Ancient Greeks and Romans believed that humans were not geniuses themselves, but they actually possessed an intangible genius- a creativity spirit, if you will. This belief not only maintained the modesty of the artist by limiting the personal credit he/she could take for their work but also alleviated the pressure put on the artist by allowing him/her to share the responsibility of creativity with their genius. Follow? Good.

My point tonight is that my genius seems to be on vacation; it's that time of year I guess. The heat must have sent the little guy packing. I can't get my mojo going these last couple of weeks. Writer's Block is a massive understatement at the moment. So while I try to coax my little genius back from whatever remote Caribbean island he's on, I thank you in advance for bearing with me. I hope you're enjoying your Mai Tai, buddy, because I'm coming to find you!

P.S. I think I'll name him Gus. Gus has some great ideas but he can be a little unreliable.