I read somewhere that watching romantic movies (more commonly known as "chick flicks") can be detrimental to your relationship because it creates an "unrealistic view of romance". I believe that is the fundamental problem with today's society when it comes to our views on marriage and love. Think about it... what year was it exactly that Walt Disney began planting the idea in people's heads of "happily ever after"? It started with sweet little Snow White and the poisoned apple. Then along came Prince Charming and all it took was a kiss to wake her from her coma and they "lived happily ever after"! Fast-forward almost 100 years and now we see Kate Hudson being swept off her feet by some gorgeous, albeit charmingly flawed man with some impeccably crafted line that happens to be the product of some grossly overpaid Hollywood writer and not at ALL based in reality; but I'm getting ahead of myself. So here we are, ladies, in our best sweatpants with a pint of our favorite Ben & Jerry's in our laps watching a 105 pound adorably quirky leading lady receive the best kiss of her life with some climactic music playing in surround sound just before the credits roll. How could that possibly distort our views on realistic relationships?!?!?
So I have made it my personal mission to tell these women who have been brainwashed by people who write impossible love stories exactly what happens AFTER the credits roll. How do you get to "happily ever after"? I'll tell you one thing, if Snow White and Prince Charming didn't put in the proverbial blood, sweat, and not-so-proverbial tears that is necessary to make a relationship thrive; "happily ever after" would have lasted about 6 months and then they would have marched their cute little Disney butts right into divorce court because Snow White couldn't stand Charming's parents and Charming thought Snow White spent too much money on shoes.
I think everyone realizes on some level that there is no such thing as complete and total "happily ever after" where everyday is like your wedding. But I will tell you that if you're expecting anything even close to what you see in those movies you're more than likely going to end up where more than 50% of married couples end up. But if you remind yourself every single day that happily ever after is hard work it is an attainable goal.
First thing you gotta know is, Prince Charming doesn't exist. Sure, your guy is going to have his white knight moments, and the good ones have a lot of them. But that same guy that made your heart flutter and your stomach flip in those first magical weeks is as flawed as any human. He sweats, swears, farts, and watches too much ESPN. He leaves his socks in the living room and doesn't put the toilet seat down. He's gonna drive you crazy just by looking at you the wrong way some days and you're going to want to punch him when "it's not what he said but how he said it"!
But he's still your Prince and he's still you're White Knight. It's just the reality behind the script. When my Prince Charming is driving me crazy and I just want to scream, I look at a beautiful picture from our wedding day and I remember that he's the man I fell in love with and the man I married and I love him completely unconditionally. Sometimes I still want to scream but the feeling passes a lot quicker.
So put down the DVD remote and appreciate the real man in your life, not the ones some Hollywood guys made up. Because even Matthew McConaughey would drive you crazy if you had to live with the guy!
