The term "new normal" has been thrown around a lot when one is trying to adjust to a major life-altering event. It gives people a sense that everything will ultimately be okay. Although things will never be as they were before the event, the dust will eventually settle and all parties involved will grow accustomed to a new routine and way of life. This expression is especially prevalent in my family. We have had to cope with many shifts in comfortable practices as a result of crisis, tragedy, or simply taking the next step in life.
I've never been one to adapt well to change. I like things the way they are, safe and familiar. I like life where I can see it so it can't spring any unwanted surprises on me when I have my guard down. I like predictability of routine and the security of knowing that things will remain the same and within my control. This is not a reasonable expectation, of that I am acutely aware. Things change; plain and simple. Sometimes they change for the better, for example, adjusting to graduating from college, getting married, or moving to a new house; and sometimes a change can occur in your life that sends you into a tailspin of anxiety and despair. You may find yourself wondering if it is even possible to recover from such a catastrophe and eventually fumble your way to the "new normal". The only way to cope is to pick your head up off the pillow every day and grasp to the hope that the dust will settle and life will seem manageable again someday.
So, here I sit, gazing at my modest Christmas tree all lit up and just waiting for joyful family members to gather around it tomorrow morning and forget all about life's challenges for one day and just be together. It serves as a reminder that no matter how turbulent circumstances get Christmas morning is a time to reset our way of thinking and take stock of the wonderful blessings God has awarded us this year.
My "new normal" has been quite the journey over the past 12 months. My mother is spending her first Christmas away from her children in Montana with her fiance. They are getting married on Sunday and unfortunately neither I nor my brother will be able to be there. This joyous occasion is following a long and painful process to get to this point. Both my mother and her husband-to-be fought tooth and nail to be with each other, prevailing over an unnecessarily drawn out divorce and my mother's recent diagnosis of breast cancer and subsequent mastectomy. My father decided to return to his home and family in South Africa after becoming involved with a woman he had known 30 years ago and recently reconnected with on Facebook. He packed all his worldly possessions and moved on to the next phase of his life half a world away. In addition to both my parents beginning new lives this holiday season my husband and I are dealing with the wake of the sudden loss of my job. It became necessary for me to return to waiting tables, a job and lifestyle that I had fought with everything I had to leave behind. So, in the face of absent parents, cancer, unemployment, and general uncertainty about what 2010 will bring; I sit in front of my Christmas tree and choose to smile; because sometimes, in a time of uncertainty and crisis, smiling is a choice.
This is my life; it is what it is and it will remain to be what it will be. I will muster the strength to change what I can and improve what is within my control... other than that, I simply have to lift my head off the pillow every morning and choose to smile. It's a new Christmas this year and I'm extremely grateful.
