I am writing this letter to you in an effort to open your eyes to the pain you have caused me throughout what I thought to be a close and meaningful friendship. Maybe I was the naive one, maybe you were just too self involved. Either way, the bottom line is that you used me and I let it happen.
Time and time again I was there for you. I made your pain my pain. I made your personal victories my personal victories. I supported you through every high and low point that you encountered since I've known you and the tragedy of the whole sick scenario is that I have received exactly nothing in return. When no one else understood what you were going through, I was there. When others doubted you, I was in your corner. Evidently I was the strength you needed to see there was life outside the darkness.
Well, buddy, I hate to be the one to tell you that a friendship is intended to work both ways. Here is something for you to think about: I have pain too. I have personal victories that I want to share with my friend. And when I feel weak, sometimes I need a friend to be strong for me and be a solid shoulder to lean on. You were none of those things.
The only thing you managed to accomplish is to drag me down into your dark, bleak existence that consists of broken dreams, pity parties, and incoherent whiskey hazes. Every time I tried to reach out to you for a return on the investment I've made in our friendship, I was met with blank stares, weak attempts at canned advice (on a good day), or a short cold "I don't care". Well, guess what... Not. Good. Enough.
Sure we had fun; when it was convenient for you and you decided to pull yourself out of your own personal hell for a day or two to become what resembled a functioning human being. Too bad it never lasted long enough for you to even closely resemble a decent friend.
Well, sweetheart, I have nothing left to give. Fortunately for me, I know that above all else I am resilient. I am strong. It may take me a little while to learn how to regain my faith that there are people out there who are capable of thinking of someone other than themselves; but, baby, as I've come to discover... you sure aren't one of them.
I will never resign myself to cynicism or basically becoming a cold-hearted bitch, so I'll leave you with this: I still think there's a decent person buried under all that self-pity and misguided behavior. And in the end I truly, with all my heart, hope you find what you're looking for. I just won't let you use me to find it.
Sincerely,
Jenna
A True, Excessively Caring Friend
Writer's Note:
This letter was written with a specific person in mind, however I will not divulge his or her name to protect the privacy of the, well, not so innocent.
To my readers, I would venture to guess that many of you have been in a friendship or perhaps a romantic relationship that resembles what I have previously described. I hope for those of you that can relate to this, that you can find your freedom; because people like the one I have described will only serve to sap you of all your emotional resources and leave you with mentally and physically exhausted. It's crucial to care about the people that are important to you in your life, but if you're not getting back what you're putting in, it's time to move on.
